Joanne Tonks – Women In Plumbing

Something as simple as the way men address women can have a profound impact on business relations, work satisfaction, and prospects for work referrals. JOANNE TONKS explains.

What’s in a name? ‘Hun’, ‘Darl’, ‘Love’. 

My dad is a plumber, and he thinks they are all perfectly good substitutes for ‘mate’ when he doesn’t know or can’t remember the name of a female customer, supplier, work colleague, or – let’s face it – any woman whose name he cannot recall! However, these are three of the most dreaded words I could possibly hear from a customer, a colleague or a supplier. Basically, unless you are over the age of 75 or you are my father, I’m not answering to any of these and bristle at the sound of them. So, my tip to all plumbers out there is: they should be removed as soon as humanly possible from your day to day communications in the workplace.

Not to be too extreme, but I can’t express how this could be affecting you economically. I have changed the real estate agent I used to sell my house, my bank and my cleaner all due to the men I dealt with initially being too familiar in their communication style and not treating me the same as they would if I were a man.
This does not mean you have to be rigid or formal. It means you need to be appropriate for the context you are dealing with. In my opinion, calling someone ‘Love’, ‘Darl’ or ‘Hun’, etc, is not appropriate unless you know the person very well AND there is a level of affection that is understood by both parties. If you want to be more effective in how you communicate, you have to know this and modify your style starting from today. I absolutely believe you will see a direct correlation to an improvement in how women who are your clients, your colleagues and your suppliers relate to you.

So, today I am going to give you my take on good communication for plumbers from
a woman’s perspective. You don’t have to agree with me, but I would love it if you
gave it a shot and report back on your findings.

HERE ARE MY TIPS

1. Call Someone By Their First Name: Always I’ll tell you why it’s so important – because if your service is bad, calling a woman by
   a patronising name will infuriate them. If your service is good, you may have still left a bad impression by calling them a patronising name, so they may not call you back or recommend you as they may feel you have been condescending towards them in your style. Meanwhile, you may think you have been perfectly nice – and this is where the problem lies. It’s a disconnect between intention and delivery. You don’t intend to offend anyone but sometimes we do in the delivery.
2. Remember their name when you first meet them, and you will not forget it. This acknowledges that you care enough to know their name. Even if you can’t pronounce it. Ask them. It shows better customer care to take the time to understand
   than to pretend a name doesn’t exist and instead call them by some generic, outdated, stereotypical, patronising term.
   If you can’t remember their name – admit it! It is better to say, ‘I am Brett, I am so sorry, but I have forgotten your name since we last spoke.’ (Then, don’t forget itwhen they tell you again).
3. In the office, please don’t refer to her as ‘the office lady’, ‘the marketing girl’, ‘the payroll lady’, ‘the accounts chick’, etc, etc. Sound familiar? Again, a first name is fine, a nickname is fine (if you are familiar enough). Being respectful enough to call
   someone by name will build rapport and will show the other members of your team the professionalism in your business.
   On a similar note – I have never understood why tradespeople call an apprentice ‘the boy’, and I would encourage you, if you want young men to grow up respecting you, to call them by their name and not ‘the boy’.
4. If you don’t swear in front of your grandma, don’t swear in the office. That’s my rule. I used to have a boss who would tell me that swearing showed a lack of creative thought. I try to keep this in mind when I get cranky or frustrated! As business owners it’s up to us to show the type of business that we want and how we want people to relate and communicate at work.
5. If you get frustrated and lose your cool easily, you still need to calm down before you can think of a solution. So, try to cut
   to the chase and hold it when you are about the let loose in the office with a few choice words. Make sure your people know this too. If you don’t already have this rule, it’s going to take a bit to bring it in. Swearing is aggressive. By keeping it out of
   the general office vibe, it keeps things on a more even keel and helps everyone feel more comfortable.
6. These days also, everyone has a mobile phone and a CCTV camera. Don’t get caught out behaving in a way you wished you hadn’t afterwards, and then it’s on camera for all to see and rerun.
7. Pause between when you would normally react and when you now ‘respond’. Just take a breath and consciously note to yourself you are taking a pause. This will give you time to check yourself. If you implement my first name rule and no swearing rule above, this rule will be a cinch. If you don’t, this is where this rule can be hard to implement.
8. Toning down the swearing and micro-aggression, toning down the patronising names that you don’t realise are patronising, will help you have a level of self-awareness in your communication – both verbal and non-verbal – that you didn’t before. As tradies we can put the airs and graces on for clients but then show our true colours when something goes wrong, or we can throw our weight around constantly without having an impact when something actually is serious with the team.
9. Having some self-awareness teaches us to be more deliberate and consistent with all the team.

Good luck with your communication journey. I am still learning but I find it really rewarding when I can train myself to do things differently and get a better result, and I hope you do to.

Joanne Tonks is General Manager of Watertight Group Pty Limited, specialising in Facilities Maintenance Plumbing. Visit www.watertight.com.au.